Что если заглавная песня Legent of Zelda имела бы стихи

Слова:
Do you recognize this music? ...Well duh!
Why?
'Cause it's the motherfuckin' Legend of Zelda!

I'm an old man and this cave is my home
Take this it's dangerous to go alone
Now, Journey across a spooky land
You hold in your hand
a sword that shoots laser beams

Won't you feel like a man, dressed up like Peter Pan,
on a quest greater than your dreams!
(Than your dreams, than your dreams, fleemy geemy deemy)
Go, Link!
From here to over there, you'll find Ganon's lair,
C'mon it's your destiny!

Trust the hero inside, but if you're terrified, purchase the strategy guide from me
(Fourteen dollars, also tax, here ya go now)
Zelda is helpless and distraught, but mostly she's hot
So hurry!

Just steady thy course,
Go find that Triforce
then take it by force!
And maybe she'll touch your wang, touch your wang, touch your thang, rang-a-dang-a-lang

Go, Link!
Get your man on!
Seek out Ganon!
Go invade his barricade!
Stick your blade in, save the maid 'n you just might get...
laid!
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh

It's dangerous to go alone...take this!